Caregiving for older family members is not only rewarding,
but especially challenging when the caregiver is a senior, too. Due to older persons living longer and
healthier lives, it is common for adult children in their seventies caring for
their parents, adult children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Five generations living at the same time has
resulted in caregiver burnout and health declines. Caregiving among family members who are
geographically distanced can be especially challenging. Family members want to provide and typically
step forward and embrace the challenge.
However, without resources and self-care, they ultimately suffer mental
and physical health declines. The challenge
is to provide care but embrace self-care to avoid burnout and exhaustion.
Long-Distance
Caregiving:
“Doris” is a 75-year old retired schoolteacher caring for her
97-year old father who lives 300 miles away in rural Pennsylvania. She and her 77 year old brother, “Todd,” each
live with him for two weeks at a time and then switch off. Todd lives 200 miles from his father. Neither of them have had a vacation in seven
years. Doris has become obese, developed
diabetes, osteoporosis, and has failing eyesight. Todd and Doris have not had
time for medical care or their diagnostics. Doris
has not had a colonoscopy or mammogram.
Todd never had time for his PSA tests.
Now, he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer, Stage III, and is
deciding on his next steps. Both of
their spouses are complaining about their lengthy absences from home.
Alzheimer’s Caregiving:
“Tim” is a 85 and he is a retired firefighter and then
retired driving the school bus. He has
been married to “Jennie” for 65 years and he promised her he would never place
her in a nursing home after her diagnosis of Alzheimer’s four years ago. Tim, her only caregiver, has not slept through
the night in two years and he is exhausted caring for her. Jennie requires constant supervision because
she wanders and she has become incontinent and does not know Tim or any other
family members. In addition to caring for Jenny 24/7, Tim has fallen twice
during the night and is recovering from a broken wrist. Tim will not allow anyone to care for Jennie
because he thinks he is the best caregiver for his wife.
Multi-Generational
Caregiving:
“Sally” is 58 and lives in rural Mississippi. She works
full-time at a bank and has a part-time hairdressing business in her home. Her parents, Dale and Patsy, retired and
bought a mobile home and moved it onto Sally’s property, an arrangement they
agreed to after Dale had his second heart bypass surgery and Patsy had a small stroke. They both have mobility challenges. Sally has custody of her three
elementary-school age grandchildren because their parents are incarcerated. Dale and Patsy used to help care for them but
now their health is failing. Sally’s
middle daughter, Joanna, was diagnosed with Sickle Cell Disease as a teenager
and lives with Sally but requires ongoing treatment and care and she is not
able to work. Sally’s long-time boyfriend,
Joe, left last year because the environment was in his description “far too
chaotic for my lifestyle.” Recently,
Sally called 911 because she thought she was having a heart attack. After numerous tests and diagnostics, the diagnosis
was severe emotional stress and anxiety.
All three of these examples are composites of actual
scenarios yet and represent an array of contemporary caregiving
challenges. In all three examples, the
caregivers were committed to helping their family but at the cost of their own
health. In addition to losing their
freedom, they had no self-care, no social life, and no support team, resulting
in isolation and physical and mental health declines.
Adult day services are typically in churches or senior
centers where older adults gather for social activities, recreation, and a
congregate meal. While some of the
seniors have dementia and limited physical abilities, adult day programs
provide supervision and safety during normal business hours and allow
caregivers to remain employed and get a break from the responsibilities of
caregiving. Here is a wonderful resource
https://eldercare.acl.gov/public/resources/topic/Adult_Day_Programs.aspx
Caregivers with Medicare are allowed respite care for one
week, provided the person they care for is in hospice care. It entails moving the sick person to a
residential hospice facility, a less than satisfactory solution that is often
refused. Sometimes the caregiver refuses
and sometimes the loved one. Nonetheless,
it is a free option that provides at least one week of time to decompress and
relax. Here are the details. https://eldercare.acl.gov/public/resources/topic/Adult_Day_Programs.aspx
Resources available to
local readers include the following:
Limestone County- Resources are available in Athens at the
Council on Aging on Jefferson Street. https://limestonecounty-al.gov/departments/council-on-aging/
Madison County and Northeast Alabama – TARCOG Area Agency on
Aging http://tarcog.us/area-agency-on-aging/
Other national
resources include:
Family Caregiver Alliance https://www.caregiving.com/
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