Language of Aging- Watch Your Words

Can names hurt? Yes. Older adults are subjected to abusive words and labels from well-meaning people who most often do not even know they are offending anyone. It is ignorance.

As children we know that calling people names is hurtful. No one wants to be called stupid or dumb. So why are we offending older adults?

The offenders often work in medical and assisted living/nursing home facilities, where they talk baby talk to seniors or shout, assuming a hearing loss. This infantilization of older people is totally unacceptable.

When the social director at mother's assisted living spoke in this manner, I told her, ..."don't speak to my mother with baby talk, mother is not a child, she is a grown person." Although the worker was offended by what I said, she never spoke to my mother again in that manner. Why didn't mother tell the worker about her offensive language? The oldest-old birth cohort is compliant and they ordinarily will suffer in silence rather than "cause a problem." And so you should speak up, too. Do you buy greeting cards with these offensive words? Do you laugh at jokes or tell jokes with these words? Shame on you.

Examples of unacceptable language:

What do you mean, you're not retiring? You're over 65! Don't you think it's about time to stop working? Are you still driving? Are you still working? [These phrases are actually put-downs and imply that the older person is incapable of those activities.]

Old fool, Old bitty, Curmudgeon, Fruitcake, Dried up, Sunday driver, Out-of-date, Rusty, Past one's prime, Little old lady, Little old man, Grumpy old man, Has-been, Over the hill, Old fogey, Geezer, Old bird, Old goat, Codger, Fuddy duddy, Dinosaur, No spring chicken, Bag, Old bag,
... and of course there are more.

Better, positive words to know and use:

Older individual, Older people, Older adults, The senior population, The older population, Older woman, Older man, Vintage, Elder person, Elder, Distinguished, Seasoned, Classic, Veteran, Mature, Sage.

Negative expressions about older adults diminish their self-esteem and permeate fears and myths of aging. Don't say them. Instead, use positive words and phrases that reconstruct self-esteem and thereby promote a "language of possibilities."

Reference:

Thanks to Dr. Lucille B. Bearon, Adult Development and Aging Specialist for compiling this list and for her article, Little Old Ladies- Grumpy Old Men: How Language Shapes our Views about Aging. Published by the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service, FCS-492/E00-38868.