Self-Forgiveness and Life-Review

Self-forgiveness is an important pathway toward mental health, especially among the senior population. Definition of Self-Forgiveness: "A willingness to abandon self-resentment while fostering compassion, generosity, and love toward oneself." Older adults encounter roadblocks to self-acceptance. In the process of reviewing their lives, they report feelings of guilt and remorse from past transgressions and painful memories accumulated over a lifetime. Older adults continue to search for meanings to their own past behavior. Among the oldest-old, self-forgiveness is a taboo discussion topic, in keeping with role norms from their birth cohort. Six common strategies for self-forgiveness.

1. Differentiate between minor and major transgressions
2. Accept your own limitations
3. Focus on positive intentions
4. Acknowledge and learn from mistakes
5. Make reparation- "I'm sorry"
6. Sacred readings provide comfort. Pray for God's forgiveness

Forgiving ourselves and others is a daunting task. While at a Lenten retreat, the video Luggage by Rob Bell was shown. His take on forgiveness: We want to be healthy and whole, but if we do not forgive others, we are wounded people. Carrying a grudge spills over into every aspect of our lives, including friendships, business, marriage, and family. When we carry around our anger, refusing to forgive others, it makes our journey exhausting. We set ourselves free when we forgive others.

Healthy aging is impossible without self-love, self-forgiveness, and forgiving others. Free yourself and forgive someone today.

Dr. Jan Vinita White, PhD, Gerontologist